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Just a 'few' of my favorite pictures.....

I Debated.....

My dad didn't want a funeral...he wanted a celebration of his life. A big steak BBQ with family and friends all gathered around. November really isn't a good month to do that, so it was decided that right around dad's birthday in April we would do it.

I went back and forth trying to decide if I was going to use the plane ticket. Do I go or do I not go? Russ (my brother) had been having the same conversation with himself. It wasn't until he called me and asked what I was going to do that we both decided. We'd go, if the other went. If nothing more came out of this then at least all the kids would be in the EXACT same place for the first time in YEARS. This more than anything is something my dad would have loved.

I'm glad I went. I wish Kolin and the kids could have gone with me. It was great seeing my brother, his wife and my handsome nephews. It was wonderful spending quality time with my sister and of course my other 3 handsome nephews. She kept me up until 3:30am PST one night, but it was well worth it. Some great family time was spend together, but someone was missing. No matter how hard you tried to put a smile on your face, your heart was breaking and you can see it on all of our faces.

Goodbyes

Yesterday was spent frantically trying to get a flight booked for me to fly out to Portland that wouldn't cost us an arm and a leg. Thanks to a GREAT friend with some extra miles I was able to get that taken care of. Called my sister to let her know that I would be arriving Friday and flying back home the following Tuesday. My brother and his family were heading down on Friday as well.

A few hours later Katie called me to tell that I needed to get there sooner. Like THAT night sooner. I didn't have it in me to look for flights again, plus with Thanksgiving and it being the worst possible time to fly anyway I just started to cry. I figured that my dad knew I was coming and if I was supposed to see him I would. I asked Katie to put the phone next to my dad's ear. I told him that I loved him and I always would. I was sorry for not being there. And more than anything I thanked him for being the best dad and papa.

Last night I went to bed and deliberately left both phones downstairs. When I woke up there was a message from Katie with an update. I called fully expecting to be told he had passed away. Instead, I got to tell him one more time how much I loved him and that it was alright to go. About 45 minutes later he passed.

The old saying of "Anyone can be a father, but it's takes someone special to be a dad" is very very true in this instance. I might not have been his daughter biologically, but in every way that actually counts and matters I was his and he was mine.

Paint & Puzzles

Ryanne loves to paint at the preschool. Unfortunately I think more gets on her clothes and face (check out her lips) than on the paper. Thank goodness the paint and markers she frequently uses are washable. =)

Miss Karis is all about puzzles, especially the bigger floor puzzles. She can usually put them together in no time flat with no assistance.

Guilt

I've had the nagging urge to call my dad the last few days. Today while waiting for Brennan to get out of school I grabbed my phone and made the call. I wish I had done it sooner. Maybe, just maybe I would have actually been able to have a conversation with him. Kathy (his wife) answered the phone. As soon as she knew it was me, she started crying and then I started crying and I had no clue what I was crying about at that moment. Hospice brought in oxygen over the weekend. Today a hospital bed is set to arrive. He's in a terrible amount of pain and there really isn't anything anyone can do except make him as comfortable as possible. So much for the 6 months we really hoped we would have had.

I feel guilty that I didn't call sooner.

My little pilgrim

Karis' preschool class had their Thanksgiving Feast this morning. They had roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli, rolls, corn and pumpkin pie. Of course, the feast wouldn't be a pilgrim feast without her pilgrim hat.

Crazy Squirrels

As annoying as the squirrels might be on certain occasions, they certainly are fun to watch.

One GIANT Leap!!!!!!

Busted!

I had a little mishap with my side mirror this morning, which involved backing out of the garage. The side mirror literally popped and the motor was broke. One would think it would be a slightly inexpensive fix....not so. We found out the price for a new part and now the mechanic is trying to hunt us down a used one. The hunt isn't going so well. I was told it would be easier if the mirror wasn't motorized and didn't defrost.

Karis told me not to worry, we can call Billy the Exterminator to fix your mirror. He can fix anything! Our mechanic's name is Bill, she assumed we were calling Billy.

On a side note, it's a pain in the A$$ not to have the side mirror.

Daddy! Come and find me!

Has anyone seen Ryanne? We can't find her.....

Turkey In Disguise

Brennan came home with a naked turkey last week. His project was to come up with some way to disguise the turkey so that it wouldn't get eaten for Thanksgiving.

Here is what we came up with:

26 weeks 2 days

The 'just brushed' look

Supposedly Karis just brushed her hair. I beg to differ....
Her hair still screams BED HEAD!

Don't you want this outfit?

A storm is coming in....

Cancer Sucks!

I'll be the first one to tell you that I don't deal with stress well. Really.... Those who know me best, know this is true.

How do I explain to my children that their grandpa is going to die, when I can't even comprehend it myself?

Give a girl a camera....

And you will get pictures of the following while we wait outside the school waiting for Brennan:

The barbie sticker on Karis' carseat

We can't forget Karis' backpack

We must have a picture of mommy's water and purse

Can't leave out a picture of the school

Hello!!! It's me!

Mommy wasn't sleeping. She was merely 'resting' her eyes.

November Already?

It just doesn't seem possible! In a few short weeks it will be Thanksgiving and then shortly after that it will be Karis' birthday, then of course Christmas. After that the baby countdown really begins!

With the leaves falling off the trees at a very rapid rate the squirrels don't really have much to hide in.